An experience that started with my instinct saying no: the training in Jordan.

Thursday 5 May 2022

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It’s Thursday, March 31st. I am sitting in front of my laptop, and I think that one week ago, at this very moment, I was flying from Amman to Bergamo, coming back from an experience that had started with my instinct saying no. 

Inside of me, I was saying no to starting a journey while I distractedly read an email that confirmed the international training event would take place. 

In my mind, all I could hear was that fearful no, filled with the fear of opening myself up to the world after two years of lockdowns and Covid. Moreover, I was afraid of flying.  

And then, what about me? I couldn’t help thinking about that clumsy, embarrassed person who is incapable of starting a conversation in English because she believes she doesn’t know a word. Oh well, I can understand it quite well, but I am so ashamed when it comes to speaking. 

I tried not to think about it for some time because I knew I wanted to go, but something blocked me. 

With a racing heart and without overthinking, I answered that email and wrote that I was interested, but a part of me kept saying, “you can always give up at a certain point”. 

And then here comes the preparation meeting for the Winter camp in Jordan at CESIE premises. 

After one year of video lessons, to me to be there in a circle, looking into other people’s eyes and listening to their voices without any sound issues was like finding myself again: I wasn’t feeling lonely anymore, and I couldn’t wait to leave together with my course mates, I was sure it would be a great experience that could give me a lot and make me grow from a cultural point of view, but there’s more.

From that moment on, I only thought about beautiful things and the great opportunity I had been given. 

Now, I still need to process the past few days, and I want to take some time to think, breathe the air of novelty that I brought along with me and do some research. 

There are many starting points, including the meeting at the National Agricultural Research Center, which has a special place for me because it allowed me to get to know better the scientific studies conducted on bees, the buzzing world I want to be part of!

I also found a country that has stolen a piece of my heart, and I want to keep on discovering it. It was impossible not to think about Palestine, which was there, somewhere over the sea. Travelling by bus to our destination, I could see it dormant, almost sleepy, ready to scream or whisper its story to those willing to listen to it. 

Now I can’t wait to know more to understand deeply. 

It was a unique experience. It was as if I recognised myself again, and I cannot explain why. 

I left Jordan, and I brought with me immense gratitude, a huge shukran as big as Palestine, Spain, Italy, and Tunisia!

And so, I say Yalla Yalla! More or less ready for a new adventure and to rewrite my story

Irene

Jordan has stolen my heart.

Jordan has stolen my heart.

BEFORE LEAVING CESIE gave us a wonderful Christmas present when, at the beginning of December, we learnt about the Winter Camp that would be held in Jordan in March 2022. It seemed like the perfect ending to a unique, personal experience: InnovAgroWoMed. It was so...

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Letizia Portera: 

letizia.portera@cesie.org

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